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I swear sometimes I hear her laugh and it makes me sick.
Makes me want to rip out her hair and slap her with it.
Everything is NOT funny.
But then again I complain a lot. Who gives a shit
This is MY journal so here that doesnapos;t matter.
What matters is that she shuts the fuck up.
Redneck barefoot and pregnant. WTF kind costume is that?
So stupid.
I canapos;t say it to her face because well... Her ass will get offended.
How am I supposed to laugh at that idoitic shit?
Even Mimi didnapos;t laugh. HELLO? IT ISNapos;T FUNNY
Dumb ass.

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So saturday started off pretty normal. Woke up at 9, laid in bed til 10. Ran/lift. Lunch. Borgata. Pwn 5-10NLH in my sleep. Leave to eat dinner and change/shower for Marshallapos;s Bday shindig at Daz. Go drink a lot (i remember: 2 circus boy, 2 long islands, 3 cran-grey goose, trip shot petron, doub shot jager, corona). See people from HHS, that i would talk to . . . And dance with. 2:30ish (????) leave to drive to Marshallapos;s a whole two (2) miles away. 2 blocks away i see a cop behind me so i try to turn into the residential development drive. And i see the lights flash on. He pulls me over.

"have you been drinking tonight" - cop
"yes" - me
"you heading home?" - cop
"no, headed to a friends house a block away on Maise. I live too far to drive" - me
"well dont you think you shouldnt be driving at all if youre drunk" - cop
"yes" - me
"well get there and i better not catch you driving anywhere tonight" - cop

he speeds away. Which was good since i turned into the wrong street next. Maise was 2 blocks. I guess it was a good thing i wasnt swerving or speeding and had my seat belt on.



and my right pinky toe has been numb since around 8 last night. Strange.
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dahlin

Not a horrible day at work, but the back pain is really getting to me again. I gave in and called the pain doc and I get more shots in my spine Thurday, whoopee. Now Iapos;m finally relaxing a bit with 2 flexeril and a vicodin in me. Ate a couple nacho chips so the pills donapos;t hurt my stomach (my stomach has been a bit better these last 2 days, thank goodness). Also put on some topical pain medicine that doesnapos;t really make the pain go away but the heat is helping my back relax. I just donapos;t know what Iapos;m going to do about this pain. I REALLY donapos;t want the disc operated on. I refuse to go back to a hospital.

Good news My bff is coming to visit from NJ this weekend. I do wish we had the guestroom ready for her, but next time. This time sheapos;s staying with family and weapos;ll still get to see her. Woot Then Sunday I have a photoshoot that sounds like it should be good. Throw in a couple errands (CVS for script, library, pick up USB cable, use coupons at Michaels AC Moore) and weapos;ve got a great weekend.

Spent some time tonight crying. Guess itapos;s the time of year (my lightbox should be here Monday). At least i have therapy Monday. And my favorite therapist, Willow, waited for me outside the bath while I was taking a bubble bath. He then cuddled up next to me on the couch for a few hours. I love the cats so much my heart hurts. They are the sweetest little souls.

Got a crazy call today - I won Grinch tix My Mom entered a collage in a contest and put my name on it. Now weapos;ve got 6 tix for a show in Dec. AWESOME
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Hard to believe that two years ago, I held Julia in my arms for the first time.
Wow, has time flown.
She is doing great.� She loves being a big sister.� She is a help in the kitchen.� She likes to put away the dishes in the dishwasher...regardless on whether it is being unloaded, or loaded.
She helps make her breakfast most mornings.� Usually, it is cream of wheat.� She will measure the ingredients, and dump them into the bowl.� She will then stir.� Okay, so I am making sure that it is the right amount, but she does a great job dumping and stirring.

This morning, we made pancakes together.� Today is also the first time that I�pulled the step stool over to the stove so she could see them cook.� She has asked in the past to see what was going on, but I held her.� Now, it is much easier to just have her stand on the stool.� She knows that the stove is hot, and that she isnapos;t allowed to touch.� She did hand me the spatula every time I�needed it.�

At Ikea last week, she said at an elevated level, the alphabet.� One man even came over and asked me how old she was.� Normally, she will omit letters E and H.� Today, she sailed through the alphabet - even got her forgotten letters.

Weapos;ve got to clean house.� the party is tomorrow

She is asking for me now.

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Welkom beste bezoeker van deze weblog,
Zo het is nu donderdagavond en het is weer tijd voor een nieuw blog bij
jeanvrijgezellig, ik ben zoals de titel luidt naar de tandarts geweest nou
ik zag er wel tegenop omdat ik graag wilde dat de invaltandarts, de kroon
eerst mee wilde beginnen, dat kon hij zo niet doen maar 4 december kom
ik er weer en dan doet tandarts Gelhardt het zelf waar hij ook in gespecialiseerd
is. En de betaling regelt de tandarts assistente, Tera, dat het van dit jaar
vergoeding wordt betaalt als het wat uit zo lopen naar het volgend jaar dus
daar hoef ik me geen zorgen om te maken.
Alleen heb ik toen ik thuis kwam behoorlijke pijn aan mijn ontsteking die
deze tandarts de waarnemende dus, de wortels van een afgebroken kies er
niet allemaal getrokken heeft omdat hij er niet bij kon komen en nu, en
als ik weer pijn krijg moet ik naar het ziekenhuis naar kaakchirugie en daar
het weg laten snijden en zo zei deze tandarts dat dus.
Nou de pijn is wel geweest maar ik heb er nu geen last meer van sinds vanmiddag
wat paracetemol ingenomen te hebben, nou als ik morgen nog last krijg dan kan
ik altijd bellen met kaakchirurgie.
Wat een verhaal tjonge nou ik hoop dat de pijn ook morgen uit blijft en dat ik
weer gezellig dagen heb bij mijn vader, waar ik morgen middag weer heen ga
op de scooter, volgens de weerman blijft het droog en af en toe de zon.
Volgende week dan gaan pa en ik erwtensoep maken en dan is het dinsdag
Zuidlaardermarkt, is wel druk maar misschien toch even naar toe ik zie wel, en
de komende tijd heb ik rustige weken ik heb eind oktober nog een afspraak met
dr. Ingrid Willems de psychiater en dan heb ik niet eerder een afspraak dan 4
december bij de tandarts zo geschreven, dus dan heb ik de tijd om een nieuwe
wc te laten installeren.
Zo dit was het weer.
Tot morgen

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� Alright so there are some big changes in the band going down
� For starters, weapos;re no longer a pop punk sorta thing, weapos;re now death metal band
� Justin is no longer the guitarist.� Weapos;ve decided heapos;s going to the the vocalist, which is what he originally wanted anyways
� Durand is still the bassist and backing vocals,
� and Iapos;m still the drummer and backing backing vocals
� BUT
� Weapos;re adding a new guitarist or two.� We have two guys in mind, but weapos;re unsure if both will join.
� Itapos;s pretty exciting� Weapos;re getting solid

� =D
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Today at the national library this guy held open the door for me when i said thanks he said welcome wahhh so, i decided that my future worthy bf must hold open doors for me :)

___ freaked me out (again). Thank goodness while i was on the train home i received a msg from lynn. (ask if you want to know :D) sorry i dont like weirdguy(s).

__apos;s party is now _____apos;s party. Foam foam foam everywhere nothing to say.

are we still like water? (pun not intended)

jya ne
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Waktu di workshop Devany, setelah bangun tidur, gw sempet ngobrol bertiga sama Einar dan Yukie di ruang tamu. Gw lupa awalnya ngomong apa, tapi ujung-ujungnya kami berbiaca soal life span..
Gw: "Iya... Sampe 17 taun nanti, gw ga tau bakalan hidup atau nggak.."
Einar: "Emangnya kenapa?"
Gw: *menceritakan tragedi keluarga yang kalo ada yang berumur 17 taun pasti ada yang meninggal, entah yang ber-17 taun itu sendiri atau anggota keluarga yang lain*
Einar: "Trus kenapa lo bilang yang akan mati itu adalah lo?"
Gw: "Gw punya alasan.."
Yukie: "Emangnya lo kenapa?"
Gw: "... Entah deh.. Mungkin penyakit kali ya..."
Einar: *senyum tapi pahit, lalu natap ke arah Yukie*
Yukie: "....." *balik natap ke Einar, tatapan yang nggak bisa gw baca penuh, antara sedih dan linglung*
Gw: "kurang lebih sama lah kayak lo yang ga tau kapan mati, Einar.."
Yukie: "emang ultah lo kapan?"
Gw: "28 januari..."
Einar: "lah? januari taun depan lo 17?"
Gw: "iya... Kira-kira 6 bulan lagi deh waktu gw menunggu.."
Einar: "...gw rasa gw yang bakal mati duluan.."
Gw: "hahaha.. Kayaknya nggak deh.."
Einar: "coba aja liat nanti..."
Gw: *diam sebentar* "Oh, iya, Einar, gmana kalo kita buat taruhan?"
Einar: "taruhan?"
Gw: "gini.. Kita taruhan siapa yang bakal mati duluan ataupun bertahan.. Kalau gw mati dan lo hidup, berarti gw menang lo kalah; kalo gw hidup lo mati, gw kalah dan lo yang menang.. Batasnya sampe tanggal 1 januari nanti.. Gmana?"
Einar: "kenapa sampe 1 januari?"
Gw: "yah.. Gw ga mau nantinya gw telat.. Senggaknya gw masih punya 28 hari lagi buat ngeliat lo dan yang lain.."
Einar: "Trus kalo dua-duanya hidup gmana?"
Gw: ".... Hmn.. Gmana ya...? gw kalah dan lo menang..."
Einar: "loh, kok gitu? banyak kalahnya dong lo.."
Gw: "yah, kan yang ngasih taruhan gw.. Hahaha.. Ntar kalo gw kalah, lo gw kasih sekotak cokelat.."
Einar: "gmana caranya lo ngasih kalo gw mati?"
Gw: "yah.. Gimana caranya kek.. Hahaha.. Ntar gw taro di kuburan lo atau gimana.."
Einar: "kalo dua-duanya tetep hidup?"
Gw: "ya gw kasih cokelatnya lah... Malah bagus kalo lo hidup jadi bisa nerima.."
(Einar/Gw): "abis itu kita jalan ya..." (gw lupa siapa yang ngomong, antara gw dan Einar. Yang gw inget abis kata-kata itu adalah; gw yang agak mengerutkan dahi trus senyum bingung, Einar yang senyum iseng, gw berdua ketawa garing, dan antara gw dan dia ada yang bilang " ya udah" dan "oke..", ntah siapa yang bilang "ya udah" dan siapa yang bilang "oke")
Yukie: "nggak lah.. Kalian berdua pasti hidup.. Ga bakalan mati.."
Gw: *senyum kecil* "yah.. Nggak tau deh.. Tapi kemungkinan itu tetep ada walau cuma 2 "
Einar: "yah, liat aja ntar.."

akhirnya Gw, Einar, dan Yukie saling mencatat tanggal; ultah gw dan taruhan gw. Pada saat itu, gw masih menimbang-nimbang. "Einar... Haruskah gw menyerah akan dia? Gw nggak bisa "ngebaca" lebih dari kegelapan dia..."
Dan gw merasa beruntung karena saat itu gw masih menimbang-nimbang..
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